Quiet
by rubycaspar
Summary: Becker/Jess est. The couple decide to watch 'Tangled' - Becker is incapable of letting the magic of Disney just wash over him...  Spoilers for 'Tangled'


This was written as a birthday present for my dear friend YappiChick, to accommodate her love of the Becker/Jess and Tangled fandoms... also to accommodate mine! I hope you like it – if you haven't seen Tangled it won't make a lot of sense, and of course there are spoilers for that film.

**Quiet**

"No way," Becker said flatly.

Jess sighed, not surprised by his answer. "What do you have against Disney?" She asked him.

"I don't have anything against Disney, I just don't want to watch _that_," he said.

"You made me watch James Bond last week!" Jess exclaimed.

"Ha!" Becker barked. "Like I had to force you – I'm surprised you don't have a framed picture of Daniel Craig in your bedroom."

Jess pursed her lips but didn't bother to deny it... she did love Daniel Craig, and Becker knew it.

"Well, I really want to watch this..." She tried instead.

"Haven't you seen it already?"

"Yeah, but not for _ages_..." Jess said in a wheedling tone. She stuck out her bottom lip and widened her eyes at him. "_Please..._"

She knew she'd won – she barely waited for his put-upon-sigh and nod before she grinned and skipped over to the DVD player to put on her choice.

"Now, you'd better be better behaved than when we watched _Snow White_ –"

"Those dwarves spend all their time digging up diamonds – why do they live in a tiny cottage in the woods?" Becker asked indignantly.

Jess rolled her eyes as she turned back to him, remote in hand. He had settled down on the sofa, and was trying to look stroppy. "It's Disney, Becker..."

"It's weird," he said. "They're meant to be kids' films –"

"_Disney_," Jess cut him off. "Anyone can watch it. And this film's brilliant."

"Well, anything will be better than _Princess and the Frog_..."

Jess plopped down on the sofa next to Becker and glared at him. "I love that film," she said frostily.

Becker raised an eyebrow. "There's a trumpet-playing crocodile," he said drily.

"Alligator," Jess corrected him, pressing buttons on the remote to skip the Disney Fast Play. "And he's great."

"I just don't think it's right to encourage children to think that alligators are friendly, music-loving docile creatures," Becker said. "If nothing else it makes our job a lot more difficult."

Jess didn't bother answering him – he was just trying to provoke her into an argument. She pressed the button to start the film and settled back against his side, pointedly looking at the screen and not at him. He took the hint and shut up.

For about two minutes.

"Okay, I'm confused," he said.

"It's _Disney_ – what's confusing?"

"Is she meant to be a newborn? Because babies just don't have hair that long."

"Her hair is magical."

"Okay... but she's laughing and smiling and newborn babies don't do that either."

"Just be quiet and watch the film."

30 seconds later.

"Wow, their security is _terrible_."

"Becker..."

"I mean, she just _walked in _and was able to get right up to the baby's cradle."

"Becker."

"And how does she get out of the castle? The king and queen are awake – surely they raise the alarm? I mean, the baby is _crying_."

"Becker!"

He stopped talking and looked at her. Jess glared. "_Shut up_."

Becker narrowed his eyes at her but turned back to the screen, completely silent. Jess wasn't in the least bit convinced that he was going to stay quiet, but she decided to enjoy it while it lasted.

It didn't last long.

"Why is there a chameleon?"

"It's Disney."

"There's no way she could get all of that done in fifteen minutes."

"Quiet."

"Again, _how _did they get _out _of the castle?"

"Quiet."

"Uh huh, and the thousand foot drop _doesn't _kill them?"

"Quiet."

"Did she not think to put on shoes?"

"I don't think she has any."

"That would be like hell for you, wouldn't it?"

"Quiet."

"Okay, the film is called _Tangled_, but I can't help but notice that her hair is completely pristine at all times, even though it's being dragged along a forest floor..."

"It's magical."

"So it repels twigs?"

"Quiet."

"You'd think she would have moved Rapunzel more than a day's walk from the kingdom if she was that worried about her being found..."

"Quiet."

"Let me guess – they all become friends."

"Quiet."

"And there's probably a song involved, right?"

"Seriously, _quiet_."

"Knew it."

Jess sighed. She was starting to regret her film choice.

"Those guards are seriously awful. I mean, aren't they taught any kind of sword play?"

"Hmm."

"And nobody is killed by the _tsunami_?"

"_Disney_."

"Er – doesn't her hair light up? That would be kind of helpful right now..."

"Just watch it!"

"Ha ha... _Eugene_."

"Something funny, _Hilary_?"

"Quiet."

"Ha!"

"And no blood on her hair after that?"

"For the last time – _it's magical_."

"The horse will become her friend too, won't he?"

"Just. _Watch_."

"How does everyone know the dance?"

"It's spontaneous."

"Like a flash mob?"

"Oh shut up!"

"It's just dangerous releasing that many lanterns from a wooden ship. I mean, how are they not setting fire to the sails? Jess? Are... are you _crying_?"

"No."

"Oh my god, you actually are crying! It's a _Disney film_."

"It's so sweet!"

"_Lord._ Wait, did she just give him the crown?"

"Yep."

"Where has she been hiding it all day?"

"Quiet."

"Wouldn't they just knock her out?"

"Quiet."

"Lucky how her memory came back so easily."

"Quiet."

"Seriously, they need to change those guards!"

"Quiet."

"As a soldier I actually find it quite insulting."

"Quiet."

"Oh come on – that landing _had _to hurt!"

"Quiet."

"How did the horse communicate the plan to the thugs?"

"He... he's a smart horse."

"And no one follows them?"

"Quiet."

"That was actually pretty harsh for a Disney film."

"She's a very harsh person."

"Where did she get the chains from?"

"Quiet."

"Cut off her hair."

Jess blinked and looked at Becker properly for the first time in an hour. "What?"

"He should just cut off her hair – then it wouldn't matter. There's all that glass on the floor."

Jess grinned suddenly and darted forward to kiss Becker on the cheek. His eyebrows shot up. "What was that f – _ah_." On the screen, Eugene had just used a shard of glass to cut off Rapunzel's hair.

Becker gave Jess a sardonic look. "Should I be worried that your affection for me is directly proportionate to how much I remind you of Disney characters?" He asked.

Jess rolled her eyes and turned back to the screen.

"It's true – you were all over me after we watched _Mulan_," he said.

Jess snorted. "If you're comparing yourself to Shang, don't flatter yourself."

"Well that's rude." Becker turned back to the film. "She looks much better as a brunette," he said after a few moments.

"You think?"

"Well... I have a soft spot for brunettes."

Jess grinned and snuggled closer to his side. "I love you," she said.

"_Rapunzel?"_

"_Eugene?"_

"_Did I ever tell you I have a thing for brunettes?"_

Becker raised an eyebrow at Jess. "I rest my case."

Jess just grinned again and enjoyed the relative silence as the two of them watched the last couple of minutes of the film.

"So... the old lady, her mother – she needed her hair to stay young, right?" Becker said as the credits started. "When she was apart from her for even a day, she started to get older."

"Yep."

"So does that mean that Rapunzel's going to have to cry on Eugene's stab wound every day or he's going to bleed to death?"

"I – _quiet_."

THE END.


End file.
